Surrendering Or Giving Up (And the Distinction)

Occasionally we do need to walk away from a relationship, a career, a dream, or a geographical location. I often see this with my clients in my practice at Violet Hive. Life can be like a pick your own adventure book. If you pick As you follow this path if you pick B you follow another path. When you make these choices you don't know the outcome, but that is part of the fun. When we make these types of choices in our own life sometimes we are full of fear and clenching whatever makes us feel safe. When the truth is if we are able to surrender and follow our story it is never so final or the end there is always room for hope to come in and show us a different path or a new perspective if we are willing to surrender. Consider the following distinctions as you think about whether you have been surrendering or giving up.


Surrender feels peaceful, moderate or balanced, and giving up feels extreme or intense, hopeless and like a defeat.

The intensity of giving up feels so extreme because in its very essence it is  a more black-and-white solution. It is natural to have outgrown a situation or relationship or if a situation has toxic it may be healthy to walk away indefinitely. Most situations and relationships, however, are more of a gray area. If you have a friend or family member who challenges that are longer term, you might surrender by distancing yourself from them while leaving the door open to change and hope. Situations and people often can evolve with time. The important thing to remember is it may not be your journey or work to do, no matter how much you care.

Surrender often involves careful consideration, where giving up is often fueled by emotions.

It is often best to make an important decision from a neutral emotional state. This will allow you the opportunity to clearly see whether it is best to give up forever or temporarily surrender. Often this time also gives the universe enough time to present specific synchronicities that will inform a decision.

Surrender is acknowledging that you have limited power, and giving up could be forcing a conclusion to protect yourself from the unknown.

People like doing, movement and action. Patience is, in fact, a virtue. Forcing a conclusion, or giving up, can allow for relief. The relief, however, is often temporary and later may feel like a hollow victory. Giving up on dreams that have been dear to our hearts can be devastating and feel like a way to protect our hearts. Surrendering is allowing us to see that we have limited power over many situations and may encourage us to use our free will and power in more productive ways. You may not need a new dream, just a new way of seeking it.

Surrender involves continuing to take action steps when appropriate while giving up means shifting all your energy elsewhere.

If you had a dream and were trying for years to make it work you might surrender hope for this specific outcome. Surrendering could look like researching other avenues or options. After all sometimes timing is not in our control and we can be early to this dream we hold dear. Sometimes allowing ourselves to be open and not closing ourselves off or giving up can be what is needed.

In the end, surrender is not passive but it should feel peaceful and create openings for energy to come in. If it doesn't feel as you desire sometimes bring ing in mindfulness practices and examining your intentions can be important. If you are having trouble with this feel free to contact us for support or take a studio or workshop to hone in on this area using art. Check out ideas and programming here.

The information from this blog is from How To Know If You're Surrendering Or Giving Up (And Why It Matters) by Tanya Carroll Richardson, September 14, 2017, 5:50 AM

Want to learn more about the art of surrender? Check out this piece on how to conduct a surrender manifestation.

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